This hurts:

"Lonely, little love dog that no one knows the name of

I know why you cry out, desperate and devout

Timid little teether, your eyes set on the ether

Your moon in Bella Luna and howling hallelujah

Nameless you above me, come lay me low and love me

This lonely, little love dog that no one knows the name of

Curse me out in free verse and wrap me up and reverse this

Patience is a virtue until it's silence burns you

And something slow has started in me

As shameless as an ocean and mirrored in devotion

Something slow has sparked up in me

As dog cries for a master and sparks are whirling faster

Lonely, little love dog that no one knows the ways of

Where the land is low is where the bones will show through

Lonely, little love dog that no one knows the days of

Where the land is low is where the water flows to and holds you"

-TV on the Radio

The Chloey Experiment

I realized the other day that of all the times I've pet my dog, Chloey, she's never walked away.  It's always been me to stop.  So I wanted to see if she would get tired of being petted.  I started the clock.  I ensued a non-stop dog petting session.  She sat there enjoying it.  Pretty soon, she was leaning on the side of the couch for added support.  Somewhere around 25 minutes, she collapsed to the floor with a groan. I hit the 30 minute marker and called it; my arms were fatigued.  And after she laid down, she was in for the long haul.  Dogs are really something. 

Girls, girls, girls

I love them.  I'm back in the game.  Don't be suprised if you see me with a different girl each night.  I'm no man whore nor do I have a problem with attention.  I just love girls.  Most of them.  Every smile I extract from a girl's face is a tiny victory. 

1 week of freedom

Oh, how I am grateful....free time the likes of which I haven't seen in a long time.  

"If you can't see the stars, you've probably gone too far." - TV on the Radio

A Few of my Blessings

I have woken up to love

A pair of sparkling

sleepy

eyes

And it lasted

all day long

I have woken up to nature

And then saw, felt, heard and smelt it

all around me

all day long

I have woken up to loving friends and family

With whom I've shared so much

so much that it lasted

all day long

I've woken up to adventures

That gave new experience

And these beautiful days

Are all I've ever needed

Ziggy Marley=great

there' s a rainbow in the sky all the time don't be blind
there's a rainbow in the sky all the time don't be blind
don't be blind

said you im living in my fantasy
but is you who is blinded to reality
the material world means so much to you
you just can't get what im telling you

there's a rainbow in the sky all the time don't be blind
there's a rainbow in the sky all the time don't be blind
don't be blind

cause in a town called sorrow there was joy
yes and there i met painless tear
freed he expressed emotions that egos fear
my life is full of colors yeah my mind is clear

there's a rainbow in the sky all the time don't be blind
there's a rainbow in the sky all the tmie don't be blind
don't be blind

found i mercy in every sunrise
i am born again from the womb of the night
all i have i have left behind
minds eye eyes eye a light will shine

I am not "desperate"...

I don't feel sorry for myself being single, not when Desperate Housewives is the most watched show on the women's network. It's not me, it's everyone else... :) I do, however, believe in needles in the hay.

An exaggerated yet honest account of my work xmas pot luck

Employees who took food to their desks that were too honest to join the Great White feeding frenzy were noted as having poor christmas spirits. Inside the conference room, the sharks outsmarted each other in such categories as where to place the food items and who had the most painstaking recipe. Nervous kissups let fake laughs ring out long after the length that any dignified man should laugh at something that wasn't funny at all. One giant production of a suburban shit-pie...

I wish I liked the people I worked with more.

When the winter comes in dark and heavy,

when it's beating down your door with anxiety, regrets, or whatever that dark cloud holds for you...remember that I'm still here. We all are. And we can stand on the other side stronger then before.

If your soul feels ill, call me.

Drinking black coffee of death as I write

...the stuff thats been sitting on the burner since early morning at my work, slowly simmering away, darker and darker and darker it gets. I need it today; I went to a bar last night with my friend Vikki and had a few. It felt nice putting my new smile to use. There was this guy next to us at the bar who was drinking by himself, mysteriously. This went on for maybe a half hour and when Vikki went to the bathroom, I opened up to him. He lit up all of a sudden and started revealing himself to me.
Air traffic controller who oversaw a plane on the radar yesterday fall thousands of feet before it regained control. Even though it wasn't his fault, it stressed him out enough to throw a couple back. Plus, he seems to be going through a divorce with a couple of kids. He used to smoke herb but now he works for the government so I can't and he misses it. If I was in his shoes, I might be drinking alone at a bar, too.
I guess the point of the story is that most people are strange when you're a stranger, but also, most people will reveal a friendliness that may restore your faith in the human spirit. But someone has to open up first...

In love with life

Yes, touching everyone with love as much as I can. Pulling love out of nowhere. Ready to see everything. Learn new philosophies. Go on adventures. Be all I can be. I AM MAKING MAGIC NOW. What a world

Meeting Jackie Greene's Mom

Went to see Jackie Greene tonight up by Vacaville with my brother and his dad. There weren't many people. It was all folding chair seating and someone wanted to save four seats in front of ours and left us with the task of keeping guard. I jokingly said "I'll just tell them that it's for Jackie Greene's mom." The guy said "That's a good one," and walked away.  

No one took the seats for a while and we saw the guy in a seat closer up.  We almost gave them away, doubting anyone was coming. But as you can guess from the title of this here piece of literature, it was indeed saved for Jackie's mom!  I wasn't quite sure at first; my leads were that what appeared to be Jackie's little twin hugged her and that she had that same kinda sad puppy look in her eyes as the one in Mr Greene's.  I was almost certain by the time he started and she proudly bobbed her head to every song, like it was just one long nod of satisfaction.  

I mustered up the courage: "So me and my brother here have a bet.." etc etc...I told her that her son was a huge inspiration to me. She asked what me and my brother's names were and shook our hand and gave us the pleasure for a few moments.  Nice nice lady...asked if we were have a good time.  Of course we were, he's a goddamn madman whirlwind of talent.  I wanted to tell her that her son's songs inspire on crappy days and ask if he annoyed her til the morning with endless playing, but I didn't.  I wanted to leave her with a good as an impression as she left me so I chose not to bother her.  

The power of a good mother, eh?